Something that a lot of people don’t know about me is that I’m a decent dancer. My friends are surprised when I mention during conversation that I can waltz, foxtrot and swing. I, and about 100 of my sixth-grade classmates, attended cotillion at St. Paul’s Episcopal Church. Little did I know at the time, the things I learned in sixth grade would come back to me in my early 20’s.

The word “cotillion” originated in 18th century France as a name for a dance performed by four couples. Eventually, the cotillion was introduced to England in 1766 and brought over to the United States in 1772. The original cotillion was set to a count of 8, 16 or even in 2/4 time. In English culture, performing the cotillion was associated with high society. Speaking from experience, I did not feel anywhere near high society wearing my Macy’s dress with pimples on my forehead, walking into St. Paul’s for the first cotillion class.

Cotillion is a uniquely southern tradition, which is why my peers are puzzled when I mention my participation in one. The St. Paul’s Cotillion is also a uniquely Mt. Lebanon thing. My friends who went to nearby high schools did not get the same awkward, but useful, opportunity. I spoke with another cotillion alum, former PIO intern and one of my close friends, Anna Mares. We became friends in high school after cotillion, but share a lot of the same thoughts about it.

“I remember telling some people in college that I did cotillion and they look at me like ‘isn’t that a Southern Belle thing’ or from a rom com or something,” Mares said. “But it’s crazy you’re unlikely to find someone who also knows how to waltz, who’s your age, who would you even do like the foxtrot with? I don’t know, maybe I’m just not in refined circles”

The cotillion lessons that stood out the most to me were taught in the final portion, during the infamous dinner class. Believe it or not, I get to flaunt my knowledge of formal dining more often than my dance moves.

I have a weekend job that requires me to formally set tables and interact with guests in a fine dining context. It’s crazy to think that little tidbits of information I learned in sixth grade help me at the job I have at 21 years old. One of the first things they taught us was to place your napkin on your seat when you leave and return to the table, and at the end of the meal to place your napkin on the table. Cotillion also taught me there should never be more than three pieces of flatware on each side of the plate. Formal place settings can be intimidating, so it was nice to build a solid understanding of them at a young age.

The meaning of cotillion has shifted over time, but the modern meaning comes from the German version of cotillion. The German cotillion included the same dance moves, but also combined giving presents, with a masquerade and costume ball as well. My memories about some of the dances are a little hazy and I am unclear if we learned the original cotillion dance. I definitely remember awkwardly stumbling around the dance floor and switching partners at a pace too quick to comprehend.

There is a common misconception that a cotillion and a debutante ball are interchangeable, but they are two different things created for two different groups of people. A debutante ball is when women between the ages of 17-21 are “presented to society” as someone eligible for marriage. This is where the stereotypical image of the white, satin dress and long sleeve gloves comes from. Meanwhile, a cotillion, also known as a cotillion class, is designed to teach children ages 11-13 dance techniques and social graces.

Anna and I also discussed the broader social graces and rules we learned.

“If you get matched up with someone that you don’t want to dance with, you have to just, like, be courteous and respectful and be polite and public,” Mares said. “I think that was another important part of cotillion, more etiquette of just how to treat people with respect too.”

St. Paul’s Cotillion is one of the only cotillion classes in Western Pennsylvania. They singlehandedly teach middle schoolers in the area impeccable dining skills (and questionable dance skills). It’s interesting seeing a Southern tradition flourish in yinzer stronghold territory. I am far from a dainty Southern Belle, but I can say that some the things I learned at cotillion came back to me later in life.