what did she give you?

You already know that Sunday is Mother’s Day and the week leading up to it is filled with everyone else’s idea of what we Moms want or would appreciate. For a variety of reasons it rarely gets done right.

So, instead of thinking or focusing on what we would like to have I thought it would be different and nice to think on the good things our own mothers gave to us. For some it may have been the instruction of cooking a wonderful meal particularly around the holidays, maybe sewing a special garment for a special occasion, doing hair in a very unique and confidence-boosting way, keeping a clean and neat home.

For others it may have been good “How to live this life” (without taking your own or someone else’s) sense, the gift of honest humor (directed toward your own self), showing kindness to strangers or those less fortunate. It could have been the love of family no matter what, how to accessorize like a fashion model or taking care of your husband and children as we promised to do. Or how about genuine honesty, true humility and the process of recovering from some serious disappointment.

The wise ones made you angry trying to teach you to learn to love yourself. They were right. And many were right about many things.

For me if was the love of many music genres blaring all throughout our Detroit home, beautifully and durable hand made clothes (until the 10th grade), unlimited access to food for I did not know what it was to be hungry until I had left home and was living on my own. She gave me the gift of “Get out and see some things,” as we rarely stayed put and ventured out past the county line to see something different.

The author, Haya Eason with mom, Flossie P. Fisher, and daughter Elsie.
The author, Haya Eason, with mom, Flossie P. Fisher, and daughter Elsie.

I learned to fend for myself in order to survive which has served me well since leaving home at 18 but I now see how linked I am with others even when they are not present with me.

I know “How to make a dollar out of fifteen cents” not from the childhood playground but because I watched her cry while paying bills at the dining room table after divorce and still working full time. And, I can think for myself. I pray and ask God to help me in my decision-making so as to not hurt myself and others but I can and do think for myself. If I am wrong then grace and mercy are here for me. Just like those I call my friend.

Have a wonderful and enjoyable celebration this Sunday in whatever way you decide it must be done.

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